BILL OF RIGHTS LITE

In memoriam: John Perry Barlow (1947-2018), lyricist for the Grateful Dead and co-founder of The Electronic Frontier Foundation, a group dedicated to protecting First Article rights in the computer age. I consider this to be one of his many masterpieces.

Bill of Rights Lite In compliance with Title 4 U.S. Code § 8(a)

As interpreted by John Perry Barlow  During the past two decades, the first ten Amendments to the Constitution (a.k.a. The Bill of Rights) have been quietly revised by Congress and the state and federal judiciary, sparing us the untidy political melee of a constitutional convention. The new Bill of Rights, based on current case law, might look something like this:

	Article I Congress shall encourage the practice of Judeo-Christian religion by its own public exercise thereof, and shall make no laws abridging the freedom of responsible speech (unless such speech is in a digital form or contains material that is copyrighted, classified, proprietary or offensive to non-Europeans, non-males, differently-abled or alternatively preferenced persons], or the right of the people peaceably to assemble (unless such assembly takes place on corporate or military property or within an electronic environment, or to petition the government for redress of grievances (unless such grievances relate to national security). Article II A well-regulated militia having become irrelevant to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms against one another shall remain un-infringed (excepting such arms as may be afforded by the poor or those preferred by pushers, terrorists and organized criminals, which shall be banned). Article III No soldier shall, in time of peace, be quartered in any house without the owner’s consent. unless that house is thought to have been used for the distribution of illegal substances. Article IV The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers and effects against unreasonable searches and seizures may be suspended to protect public welfare. Upon the unsupported suspicion of law-enforcement officials, any place or conveyance shall be subject to immediate search, and any such places or conveyances, or property within them, may be permanently confiscated without further judicial proceeding. Article V Any person may be held to answer for a capital or otherwise infamous crime involving illicit substances, terrorism or upon any suspicion whatever, and may be subject for the same offense to be twice put in jeopardy of life or limb (once by the state courts and again by the federal judiciary); and may be compelled by various means (including the forced submission of breath samples, bodily fluids, or encryption keys) to be a witness against himself, refusal to do so constituting an admission of guilt, and may be deprived of life, liberty, or property without further legal delay, and any private property thereby forfeited shall be dedicated to the discretionary use of law-enforcement agents without just Compensation. Article VI In all criminal prosecutions, the accused shall enjoy the right to a speedy and private plea-bargaining before entering a plea of guilty, The accused is entitled to the assistance of under-paid and indifferent counsel to negotiate his sentence, except where such sentence falls under mandatory-sentencing requirements. Article VII In suits all common law, where the contesting parties have clearly unlimited resources to spend on legal fees, the right of trial by jury shall be preserved. Article VIII Sufficient bail may be required to ensure that dangerous criminals will remain in custody, where cruel and unusual punishments are usually inflicted. Article IX The enumeration in the Constitution of certain rights shall not be construed to deny or disparage others that may be retained by the government to preserve public order, family values, or national security. Article X The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution are reserved to the Departments of Justice and Treasury, except when the states are willing to forsake federal financing. Reprinted in Playboy magazine by permission of the New York Times Company.
	"One method of assault may be to effect, in the forms of the Constitution, alterations which will impair the energy of the system, and thus to undermine what cannot be directly overthrown." George Washington 19th September 1796